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A lady who's in love with her man & our lil girl
Expecting/Part-time Studying/Always Appreciate Good Food/Typical Lazy Bum :P
This is to warn you that my blog can be/is boring.
Most of the time I will just blab boring stories abt me,me & mostly me.
So if you dont like what I blog abt, den dont stay. I have already warned you.
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Friday, November 19, 2004
*Idolistic*
TaUFiK iS In tHe FiNalSSssss!!!!!!!!! Yipee!!!!! 
Tak sia2 aku vote... Luckily smlm takde class so I managed to catch SI & I was rewarded cos his performance was FaBulOus!!!! I reli hope that he will beat that cina beng on 1 Dec04.. I mean how to represent Spore in the World Idol if ur diction in the 1st plc is worserer than PCK?? tsk tsk tsk.. aku ni kalau kutuk org No. 1!!!! kekekehehe... I was reli hoping that Olinda got in instead cos SI finals would b much more interesting.. Wat to do.. dah nasib badan...
Okies.. So wat happened to me the past few days whilst hiding in my shell?? Entah lah eh... I was kinda feeling depressed.. Don't worry guys.. No suicidal thoughts came by.. It's just that I was feeling reli dwn but I can't figure out why.... Pelik kan.. I dunno whether its me being EXTRA sensitive or is it my patience level going dwnhill..
So I decided to hide in my shell and do some soul searching.. 
My thoughts were werking doubly hard cos of the constant fight with non other than myself.. Pikir punyer pikir..Wat's wrong with me?? Why am I like this?? No self confidence?? Or is it I bottled up my feelings so long that I'm finally breaking dwn?? Or is my "gd fren" on the way & cos of tat my hormone levels are going nuts?? Or am I just stressed up and just need to relax?? These r some of the qns that I asked myself and yet I don't have the answers.. Sigh..
I gave up confiding abt my problems cos in the end, my problems are still there and most of the time, I get more frustrated.. Kadang2 kalau confide pun, the response that I get is "deal it urself" I knowlah.. to some, its a small matter and its me who decided to make it into a big, gigantic problem... so like dey say "U hav 2 clean up ur own mess" Sigh...sedih kan... So now, I just bottle up and kalau tak pun.. just cry myself to sleep.. I knoe its not healthy but tats how I cope with things... But tis time, I've not yet cried so probably that's y I still feel uneasy..
Something upset me when I was abt to go hm but I control aje.. I mean I don't wanna be OVER sensitive.. Dulu ble take it ape.. Y not now??!!! Tried very hard to control my emotions.. Abih kat dlm MRT.. tak pasal2, my eyes got watery.. No... not now.. my mind start pikir bukan2.. tats y the emotional button got activated... Luckily I managed to get a seat...Shut my eyes sampai I reached my station..
I really don't wanna feel like this.. I wanna be happy... Wanna be cheerful like always.. Wat's happening to me?? 
Love Written @ 9:15 PM.
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